I stare at the charts now, longing for some hint of realization that might jump out at me from the charts only to be met with a dark empty canvass of lines moving up and down that makes no sense to me. Just a few months ago I was in another world, where this all made sense and now, I'm destitute. It’s my fault, I abandoned conventional wisdom to pursue my own course. In doing so I've discovered a harsh void, devoid of comfort, recognition and filled with uncertainty. I fancied myself an inventor, capable of gleaning insights like the greats, i hear about on YouTube and read about in books. I always imagined these men as strong, bold and confident, and their journey to achieving this godlike status was consistent. That was my fault, i…imagined this journey would be the same as the end, all the way through…no caverns to claw my way out of, no peaks to climb…endless stream of pitfalls and avalanches I risk running into with every step i take. It’s like walking on broken glass, you pray a shard isn’t going to stick you in the foot, but you never know and that anxiety it eats at you every second. Making every step you take that much weaker and uncertain. It’s like you lose track of the reality of your experience, you could go 14 steps without a problem, but all you’ve thought about or seen in your mind is constantly stepping on glass. A folly to be sure.
*ALERT* I HAVE IMPOSTERS, CONFIRM ALL DEALS ON C.IO DM'S *ALERT*
(20 February, 2024 - 10:54 PM)TabooAnime Wrote: Show More
I stare at the charts now, longing for some hint of realization that might jump out at me from the charts only to be met with a dark empty canvass of lines moving up and down that makes no sense to me. Just a few months ago I was in another world, where this all made sense and now, I'm destitute. It’s my fault, I abandoned conventional wisdom to pursue my own course. In doing so I've discovered a harsh void, devoid of comfort, recognition and filled with uncertainty. I fancied myself an inventor, capable of gleaning insights like the greats, i hear about on YouTube and read about in books. I always imagined these men as strong, bold and confident, and their journey to achieving this godlike status was consistent. That was my fault, i…imagined this journey would be the same as the end, all the way through…no caverns to claw my way out of, no peaks to climb…endless stream of pitfalls and avalanches I risk running into with every step i take. It’s like walking on broken glass, you pray a shard isn’t going to stick you in the foot, but you never know and that anxiety it eats at you every second. Making every step you take that much weaker and uncertain. It’s like you lose track of the reality of your experience, you could go 14 steps without a problem, but all you’ve thought about or seen in your mind is constantly stepping on glass. A folly to be sure.