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 354

don't ever forget that you are loved

by doenutt - 20 March, 2020 - 10:10 AM
This post is by a banned member (doenutt) - Unhide
doenutt  
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(This post was last modified: 20 March, 2020 - 10:12 AM by doenutt.)
SWIM: halfway into this crazy semester, can't wait for it to be over. the beginning of this school year I had my first clinical rotation on a medical surgical/oncology floor and saw some really sweet people going through some really poor circumstances and it fucked with my head and heart bad.

I failed to be  proactive at seeking the help that I very much needed, and sought my escape through abusing prescription medications.

it got so bad that i relapsed back into the deep hole of substance abuse that i've struggled with since my late years as a teenager. I lost it one day during winter break and attempted suicide by consuming less than a handful of xanax bars which would have been enough to halt my respiratory processes had I let myself doze off. although i had a strong desire to put an end to my own life, there was a part of me, in retrospect, that did want something better for myself, sadly, at that point in time I was convinced that the only way out of the pain I was experincing was through death. 

I was lucky that a friend new that something wasn't right and broke into my apartment. I told her what I had done, and she stayed with me the entire night making sure that I did not fall asleep.

that was about a week before new years, and I'm working my way out of the worst deppressive episode I've ever experienced. 

I just wanted to share my experience with mental illness, this was the furthest I had ever gone with self harm. Prior to this incident, there were only two cases of voicing my desire to take my own life with it only ever going as far as ideation of the way in which I would take my own life.

life is a fuken trip guys, it is some really tough shit and it can take you to some dark fucking places, but also to some really dank places lmao

just remember that you are loved, and someone out there for sure cares about you, even when you think that you're alone.

you are loved.
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This post is by a banned member (lemonadies) - Unhide
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Hope you're okay now. Stay strong fam
This post is by a banned member (BimbimmaZ1) - Unhide
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Depression it's a process of life eventhough it's very hard to deal with it.
I'm glad that you're fine now, God gaved you another chance so you should embrace it with love 
and passion. Try to be positive about everything.
We're with you.
This post is by a banned member (shemarw101) - Unhide

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