Serious question - have the balls and be honest

[182]

I am enjoying the grind of building my life to be what I want. I chose to kill myself a long time ago and after a few attempts was asked if I'd actually tried to live, When reflecting I realized I hadn't ever tried my hardest to live or be happy so that's now what I focus on and it gives me a lot of solstice. 

If one day I can answer that truth fully and say I have tried my absolute hardest to have a cool life and be who I want to be there is nothing I can do now to make things better well I will feel it's okay to kill myself for It is not what the world has to offer me but what I offer to it that discerns my reality and self worth. 

My despair for living came from entitlement and odd constructs of what is fair or how things should be as I age I realize this is a zoo and even the park rangers must stay on park grounds until their tenure is up a pseudo cage of cages if you will. 

My inbox is always open to fellow members going through anything they don't want to deal with alone, confidentiality assured.

[140]

I am enjoying the grind of building my life to be what I want. I chose to kill myself a long time ago and after a few attempts was asked if I'd actually tried to live, When reflecting I realized I hadn't ever tried my hardest to live or be happy so that's now what I focus on and it gives me a lot of solstice. 

If one day I can answer that truth fully and say I have tried my absolute hardest to have a cool life and be who I want to be there is nothing I can do now to make things better well I will feel it's okay to kill myself for It is not what the world has to offer me but what I offer to it that discerns my reality and self worth. 

My despair for living came from entitlement and odd constructs of what is fair or how things should be as I age I realize this is a zoo and even the park rangers must stay on park grounds until their tenure is up a pseudo cage of cages if you will. 

My inbox is always open to fellow members going through anything they don't want to deal with alone, confidentiality assured.

This is another thing that I think is crucial for personal growth and happiness to the core. You *need* to have done all you can. Else there will be another factor:
Sorrow. One of the worst feelings. "I should've done it this way" or "Why didn't I act like this" or "Why didn't I try harder".

Do all you can. Push harder than your hardest. Find your absolute boundaries. Now I don't mean, get yourselves into a burn-out, but try to give that extra bit. It's crucial.

By eliminating sorrow, you eliminate self-hatred / despair.

Al the best and thanks for your reply.

[1.171]

Damn, reading this thread almost brought a tear to my eye

Store/Discord

 In case of an investigation by any federal entity or similar, I do not have any involvement with this group or with the people in it, I do not know how I am here, probably added by a third party, I do not support any actions by members of this group.

[1.412]

Honestly, most days suck.  I come here because it brings some semblance of joy.

[281]

I wonder, are you happy, are you living the life you imagined?

nah, i'm lonely

[140]

This is a bump

[32]

No thats why I use drugs, copious amounts of them.  Money doesnt always equate to happiness.  I spend my time trying to learn crafts I have no business in working on

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No thats why I use drugs, copious amounts of them.  Money doesnt always equate to happiness.  I spend my time trying to learn crafts I have no business in working on

[3]

In the grand scheme of things, life is just short AF. One can just leave this world tomorrow or even minutes from now, you'll never know when it might happen. 

Am i happy with my life right now? No. But i'm doing everything i can to work towards it instead of wallowing in self pity. At least i know i've tried my best. It is better than dying full of regrets so live each day as if it's your last, enjoy the very moment you are in and make the best out of it. 

However we might need something a little *extra* to help us get through the day. As long as it's not harming anyone around you why TF not. I smoke my brains out on some days just to get through the rough tides but after the stormy days, there will be smooth sailing days which you'll appreciate.

Rest when you have to but remember to get up to continue the grind. I believe happiness will come when one finally discovers and fulfills their purpose here on earth.